W O U N D E D H E A RT S

A N D E M P T Y P E W S

Biblical Guidelines to Deal with a Church Split

F. Wayne Mac Leod

Light To My Path Book Distribution

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written

permission of the author.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®,

trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

“Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard

Scripture quotations from The Authorized (King James) Version. Rights in the Authorized Version in

the United Kingdom are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown’s patentee,

Cambridge University Press

Special thanks to Diane Mac Leod for proof reading.

CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright
Preface
1 - The Reality of Divisions and Splits
2 - Why People Leave Their Church
3 - Is it Ever Right to Leave Your Church?
4 - Is There a Positive Side to Church Splits?
5 - When Division is Inevitable
6 - Healing from a Church Split
About The Author

PREFACE

y missionary career began in an oversees church that was going

through some significant problems with division among its

members. That would not be the only such experience I would

have in my ministry. I have often been called to work with churches that

have gone through difficult times. The inspiration for this study, in fact,

comes from one of those times and was my way of sorting through the

various issues I was experiencing in those days. I suspect that I am not

alone in this.

This book has sat on my computer for over ten years. I suppose I needed

time to continue sorting out my own feelings and hurts. For some reason, I

am now ready to share it with others. I trust that the insights the Lord has

given will be a blessing to those who read.

What causes people to leave their church? Is there ever a right reason to

leave a church? Are all church splits bad? How do you leave a church when

leaving seems inevitable? How do you heal from the emotional and spiritual

pain that comes from a harsh division of believers? These are some of the

questions I would like to address in this book.

I cannot hope to cover all the questions the reader might have. This is not

the purpose of this study. I do, however, want to direct the reader to some

basic principles that could be of help as they seek the direction of the Lord

for their circumstance.

I can only hope that the reflections of this book will be a comfort to those

who have suffered through having to leave their church or who have

experienced people leaving their church for various reasons. May the Lord

be pleased to use it to direct and comfort His people in this regard.

F. Wayne Mac Leod

1 - THE REALITY OF

DIVISIONS AND SPLITS

his age in which we live could very well go down in history as the

age of church splits and divisions. While the message of the gospel

is crossing cultural and political frontiers in a way that is

unparalleled by any generation before us, there has never been so many

denominations and splinter groups. In an article in the June 14th 1996 issue

of the Wall Street Journal, Calmetta Y. Coleman states that one

denomination reported an average loss of 29 churches a year to other

groups. She went on to say:

Even among the centralized denominations, the switch is occurring.

There are Baptist churches becoming Presbyterian, Lutheran

churches going charismatic, Pentecostal churches turning

Episcopalian and so on. The number of denominational switches

reaches well into the hundreds, and religious experts say the pace is

accelerating. (Coleman, Calmetta Y., A Charismatic Church Deals

With a Preacher Who Finds New Faith” The Wall Street Journal,

June 14, 1996: A7.)

In my years of ministry, I have seen many such divisions. My initiation into

the work of oversees missions was one of trying to bring reconciliation to a

church stifled by division. This problem is evident no matter where you go

in the world. Much of church growth as we know it today could be

characterised by the phrase “multiplication by division.” Take the time to

look at the history of your church. What evidence is there of splits in its

history? What evidence is there of this in the history of your denomination?

In one of the towns where we worked, a church split into three groups and

moved to separate towns. Very shortly after this one of these groups

underwent a second split, forming yet a fourth church (this time of a

different denomination). The total membership of all four churches was less

than one hundred. When we arrived several years later, the believers were

still struggling with a sense of confusion and abandonment resulting from

this split. Two of these churches were struggling simply to survive.

I know of two towns where two or three churches of the same denomination

are within eyesight of each other, each with a building large enough to hold

them all, but members would never think of joining forces. One does not

have to go far to see evidence such divisions.

Division is not always wrong. Many times, it is God’s way of purifying His

church. Church splits, however, often leave scars. Sometimes believer is

turned against believer causing years of bitterness and hostility. These

divisions can also greatly hinder our Christian witness in the community.

What causes divisions? Is there ever a good reason to leave a church? If a

split is inevitable, what can we do to minimise the damage it will cause? In

this study, we will look at these important questions. It is my desire that this

study be a comfort and guide to many who have experienced or are

experiencing such a struggle.

For Consideration:

What evidence is there of divisions and splits in the community where you

live? What were the reasons for these divisions?

Is there ever a good reason for church members to go their separate ways?

What are they?

For Prayer:

Take a moment to thank the Lord for your church fellowship. Thank Him

for some very specific blessings He has given you in that fellowship.

Ask the Lord to reveal any dissension in your church that needs to be

addressed in a godly way?

Ask God to help the members of your church to walk together in greater

unity.

2 - WHY PEOPLE LEAVE

THEIR CHURCH

hat causes churches to split? Why might people feel compelled

to leave their church? There are many reasons for this. Let’s

take a moment to examine some of those reasons.

Doctrine

There are certain basic doctrines on which we must take a firm stand.

Personally, I hold three doctrines close to my heart. I believe that if we are

to have true fellowship with others we must be agreed on the authority of

the Word of God. If we do not see God’s Word as our authority, we have no

basis for determining what God expects of us and have no common ground

on which to determine our beliefs and practices. Second, we need to take a

firm stand on the doctrine of salvation by grace alone. To reject this

doctrine is to cast aside the work of our Lord Jesus. Those who preach a

salvation apart from Christ, preach another gospel. Third, we must also

have a solid belief in the deity of Christ. We must believe that Jesus is who

He said He was.

There are other issues, on which I also have a firm stand. I believe these

doctrines to be based solidly on the Word of God and hold them also very

dear to my heart. These issues, however, should not be the standard by

which we measure true fellowship. While I have my view of what the Bible

teaches about the end times, I am quite free to fellowship with others who

do not hold my position. Some people see this as a compromise. I have

never felt that I have compromised my belief nor do I feel that those with

whom I worship are inferior because they do not see Scripture the way I see

it. I have had tremendous Christian fellowship with those who do not

believe as I do on secondary doctrinal issues.

There are people who will not associate with others who do not believe

exactly as they do. They seem to believe that unity comes from a common

doctrinal statement. There could be nothing farther from the truth. Our unity

comes from the fact that we are saved by grace and adopted into the family

of God. We don’t have to agree on everything to be children of God or

worship together. Some years ago, I was part of an evangelical,

interdenominational prayer and fellowship group. As a group, we

experienced tremendous unity and fellowship in Christ. The Lord used this

group in many lives. Individuals from various doctrinal persuasions came

together on the basis that they had a common Saviour. We grew in love and

understanding of what true fellowship is about. On the other hand, I have

seen churches filled with people all adhering to a common doctrinal

statement, who could not get along.

What I am saying is this: There are people who leave a church because they

do not like the church’s position on a secondary doctrine. We should study

these doctrines and have our opinions. Leaving a church because we don’t

agree on a secondary doctrine, however, may be a pretence for something

deeper. The person who leaves a church because of a minor doctrinal

difference may think he or she is doing so to maintain the purity of doctrine,

but in reality, the reason may be quite different. Maybe they are leaving

because they are too proud to associate with anyone who doesn’t believe

exactly as they do. To split a church over minor doctrinal differences only

proves that we have never learned to accept and love each other with our

differences.

Worship style

The question of worship is a big one. In recent years, we have seen much

division in churches over this issue. The younger generation wants to sing

more contemporary music. The older generation enjoys the traditional

hymns. Some prefer a formal, structured church service while others would

rather a spontaneous worship format. What church has not had to face these

issues in our day?

Many worshippers are not comfortable with a certain type of worship. We

should by all means find a church where we can worship in the way we feel

most comfortable. On the other hand, we have also seen bitterness and

hostility develop between believers over this issue. Splits over the form of

worship need to be examined very carefully. Very often the issue is not so

much the worship style as it is a glorification of tradition or a spirit of

rebellion and pride.

People who leave a church because of its worship style need to ask

themselves whether they are leaving for God or for themselves. Are they

leaving because God is not being honoured, or because their personal

comfort zones have been trampled on? It is one thing to quietly leave a

church to find another where you are more comfortable. It is another to

cause division and bitterness over how sincere believers prefer to worship

God.

Practices

How about the church that split because the pastor was not comfortable

with giving an altar call? While the pastor was preaching faithfully the

Word of God, many interpreted his refusal to give an altar call as being a

lack of concern for lost souls. I have seen another church split over the issue

of whether a sincere Christian should participate in a certain community

group. Each of these issues needs to be examined carefully. It is clear from

the Word of God that Christians will not always agree. Paul and Barnabas

had to part company over a dispute they had about John Mark (see Acts

15:36-41). While partings may be necessary in certain situations, we need

to be sure that it is not because of a spirit of intolerance and spiritual pride.

Remember that of all the people of the New Testament, Jesus spoke most

powerfully against the Pharisees (“the separated ones”). This group saw

themselves as being more spiritual than anyone else because of their strict

religious lifestyle and practices. In God’s eyes, however, they were no

better than the common sinner.

Disagreement over Decisions

We have all heard people threaten to leave the church over an unpopular

decision made by the leadership. Let’s be honest with ourselves. You are in

the minority if you agree with every decision that was ever made in your

church. We have all heard the story of the church that split over the colour

of the carpet in the sanctuary. I have worshipped in a church building with a

leaky tin roof and open holes in the wall for windows. I have also preached

and worshipped in a car garage with bare concrete floors and walls. These

times of worship can be just as alive as worship in a luxurious church

building.

Behind this type of split very often is a spirit of wounded pride. We didn’t

get our own way so we decide to leave. Sometimes we even threaten to

leave to get our way. This is obviously not an acceptable reason for leaving

a church.

Dominant Personalities

Another reason for church splits has to do with the issue of dominant

personalities in the church. People have a natural tendency to follow. They

will flock like sheep to an individual they respect as a leader. At times that

leader may come into conflict with the rest of the church. When he leaves,

his followers may leave with him. Other times these leaders catch a

different vision for the work. Soon they have influenced others to follow

them. While a new vision or direction may be good, we need to ask

ourselves who we are following. Are we following our respected leaders or

are we truly being led of God?

Changing Membership

As a missionary family working overseas, we had the opportunity of

visiting many different churches. Over the years, we have seen the

personalities of churches radically change. People grow old and die. Others

move away from the community. Still others move into the community.

When we returned to some churches for furlough, we found that we did not

know many of the people. Old friends had moved away. Other churches,

due to lack of youth have chosen to cater to the older folks. Still others tend

to draw a younger crowd. We can begin to feel out of place in our own

church. These changes may be too much to handle and may cause people to

move on to another church.

It is important for us to realise, however, that a changing membership is not

necessarily a reason to leave. While old friends may no longer be near, there

is nothing stopping us from developing new friendships. These new

relationships can be equally as valuable as the old. Some time ago I was

doing a Bible study in a church. A young man from another province,

passing through on business came to the meeting. Some of the members

went over to him after the meeting and apologised for not having anyone

his age at the meeting (most of the people present were retired). The man

responded by telling them that seeing so many older believers in that

meeting was a real source of encouragement to him. The church he attended

was composed entirely of young people. They longed to see older people

come to Christ but were not making a breakthrough. Before you leave a

church because of changing membership, ask yourself whether this is really

the will of God. Maybe God has a specific role for you to play in this

changing church.

Boredom

Others leave a church because of boredom. They see the same people week

in and week out. Nothing seems to change in their church. They know the

church service inside out. They have become tired of singing the same

hymns. The messages don’t seem to have any impact. They feel the need of

a change. We all know of many churches like this. The problem, however,

is that these churches need life too. If all the dynamic people leave for more

exciting pastures, where does this leave the church? Could it be that the

Lord would have you to make a change within the church?

Discipline

One of the problems we had to deal with on the mission field when

exercising church discipline was the tendency of people to simply leave the

church and join another without ever dealing with the issue at hand. This is

very much like the person who says to his boss: “You can’t fire me, I quit.”

In many cases, this is simply a refusal on the part of those under discipline

to submit to the authority of the church. To leave a church because you are

being disciplined would be wrong. If the discipline of the church is being

properly administered, it is for the good of the person concerned. It is far

better to submit and be reconciled than to take your problem with you to

another church.

Disillusionment

Sometimes people come to a church with big expectations. They have

exaggerated ideas about a given fellowship. When they discover that people

in this church have the same problems as the church they left, they become

disillusioned. We have all met people who move from one church to

another in search of the perfect church. When they find some fault with the

church they leave and move to another. As someone once said: “If you find

a perfect church, don’t join it, you’re sure to ruin it.”

None of us is perfect. Human nature is such that problems and conflict are

inevitable in any church. I used to feel that I had to defend my church.

When people would point out its imperfections I would take it personally.

The Lord is teaching me, however, that the reason He places us in churches

is to help deal with these conflicts. To leave a church because you are

disillusioned is to fail to recognise human nature. You ought to expect

difficulties and conflicts. I was once speaking with a man who told me that

the thing he liked about his marriage was that it was perfect. My immediate

thought was: “Where has this man been for the last ten years?” Anyone who

is married understands that conflict and disagreements are inevitable. These

conflicts, however, do not need to case a separation in the relationship

between the couple. Sometimes it takes hard work and a great deal of pride

swallowing to deal with conflict. Married couples know, however, that you

come out stronger for it in the end. This can be the same in a church. Before

running away, try to deal with the conflict. You will be surprised at what

may happen.

Band Wagon

There is one more reason I would like to examine for church splits and

divisions. I have met individuals who left their former church because they

saw everyone else leaving and so they did the same. The reality of the

matter is this. Many people leave a church because that is what their

friends are doing. They will jump on the wagon and go with the flow even

though they may not have a clear sense of why they are doing so.

Before making a radical decision to leave your church, examine your

motives. Are your motives pure? Are you leaving for the glory of God or

are you leaving for yourself? Carefully seek God in this. Ask Him to reveal

your true motives and seek His leading in what you are doing.

For Consideration:

Do we need to share the same beliefs to have fellowship and worship

together? Have you ever had good fellowship with a believer who differs

from you in the interpretation of Scripture on some minor point?

Can believers differ in how they worship or in what they believe is

acceptable practice? How accepting are you of these differences? Where do

you draw the line and say you can no longer fellowship with believers who

differ?

How has your church changed over the years? Have these changes been

good or bad?

When is it best to submit to the discipline of a local church? Is there ever a

time when it is better to leave?

For Prayer:

Ask the Lord to give you grace to be more tolerant of the differences

between believers in the interpretation of Scripture and in practice.

Ask the Lord to show you when you need to work with those who differ

from you and when you need to move in a different direction and find

another church so as not to hinder what they feel God has called them to

do.

3 - IS IT EVER RIGHT TO

LEAVE YOUR CHURCH?

here are people who believe that when you become a member of a

church you can never leave. For these individuals, their

commitment to the local church is a life time covenant which can

never be broken. To leave the church would be equivalent to leaving one’s

marriage partner. Is this a fair comparison?

It is true that Scripture uses the symbolism of marriage to illustrate the

relationship between God and His church. There is no doubt that my

relationship with God can be compared to a marriage. The relationship

between God and His people is a lifetime covenantal relationship. As a

loving husband, God will always care for and love His wife the church. He

will never leave her or forsake her (see Joshua 1:5). The church, as a loving

wife, is bound to God by a covenant of faithfulness. Marriage is a

wonderful example of the relationship between God and His people.

The illustration of marriage, however, is not necessarily a good illustration

when it comes to the believer and the local church. There are a couple of

reasons for this. First, it can shift attention from God to church. Admittedly,

my relationship to God does include the local church but it goes much

deeper than this. The local church is only part of my relationship with God.

I would venture to say that there have been times when the local church can

even stand between a believer and his or her relationship with God. I have

been in ministry now for long enough to have seen individuals who have

placed their church before God. I have met pastors who have spent so much

time working at their church that their families have suffered. I have myself

have at times neglected my relationship with God because I was too

involved with church activities.

There may be times in the life of the believer where he or she must choose

between obedience to God and the local church. Paul told Timothy that an

elder must first “manage his own family well” (1 Timothy 3:4, NIV). This

implies that he will not be able to devote as much time to the work of the

church because of his family obligations.

In my lifetime, I have been a member of many different local churches and

denominations. My commitment has changed over the years. God’s leading

has taken me to many local churches and denominations in Canada and

overseas. Where does the illustration of marriage to a local church fit into

this picture? If I had seen my relationship to the local church to be for life I

would never have left Canada to work overseas. My commitment is to God.

When God leads me to a certain location, I seek out a local church and

contribute what I can to the work of that church. When God moves me

elsewhere, my commitment to that body ceases. I am not married to my

local church; my covenant is with God.

While God expects us to be faithful to a local body, He may lead us to

another church or to another ministry. There are those who place their

church or their denomination on a par with God. Those who do so make an

idol of their local church.

While I don’t believe that we should make an idol of our local church, it

very important for us as believers to find a local body of believers where we

can fellowship. Having said this, there are circumstances where the local

church ceases to be a blessing in our walk with God. In fact, I would

venture to say that the local church can even become a hindrance in our

spiritual growth. When this happens, we need to examine whether it is

God’s purpose for us to remain or to seek another fellowship. There may be

many reasons for us to consider leaving our local church. I use the word

“consider” here because we need to be sensitive to the leading of the Lord

in this matter. What may apply to one person may not apply to another.

Let’s take a moment, however, to some of the reasons why a person might

consider leaving their church.

BIBLICAL / THEOLOGICAL REASONS

Rejection of the Authority of God’s Word

I would personally have great difficulty remaining in a church that denied

the authority of the Word of God. The Bible is the standard upon which I

build my faith. I can always remember attending a Religious Studies class

in University where the professor lectured on “the danger of believing in

the authority of the Bible.” I am glad I did not attend his church. If you take

away the Bible, what do you have left? You have nothing more than human

philosophy and reasoning. Anything is possible and admissible. The church

becomes nothing more than a social club whose purpose is to share

religious ideas without any authority base to validate their thinking. How do

we know who God is if we do not have His Word? How do we know what

He expects of us if we do not study and apply His Word? Seminaries and

Universities throughout our countries are producing pastors who have

serious doubts about the authority of the Word of God.

When a church has turned its back on the Word of God they are doomed to

fight the spiritual battle that rages on in our society without a weapon. They

are defenceless against the onslaught of the philosophies of this world. Its

members fall prey to the influences of the world. The prophet Hosea put it

this way: “my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge (NIV, Hosea

4:6a). Without God’s intervention, there is no hope for spiritual growth and

renewal in the church that has rejected the authority of the Word of God. If

you belong to such a church, I would suggest you find another church

where you can be fed upon the Word of God. There can be no growth apart

from His Word.

Denial of Christ

John writes in 1 John 2:22,23:

Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ.

Such a man is the antichrist - he denies the Father and the Son. No

man who denies the Son has the Father … (NIV 1John 2.22,23).

I seriously wonder how anyone who denies that Jesus is the Christ, the Son

of God can call themselves Christian. This may be a strong statement, but it

is fundamental to all I believe. John calls such a person an antichrist. What

hope do we have of eternity if Jesus is not God? If Jesus is not God, He is a

liar and deceiver for He certainly claimed to be God in the Scriptures. If He

is a liar and deceiver, He is unworthy of our worship. To worship Him

under these conditions would be blasphemous. Once again, if you belong to

such a church, I would suggest that you find a church that gives Christ the

honour due His name. Listen to what Paul says:

(Romans 16:17 NIV) I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those

who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary

to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.

If you see brothers who are causing division by teaching things contrary to

the teaching of the apostles – “keep away from them.” This certainly gives

us cause to leave the fellowship of those whose teaching is contrary to the

teaching of Scripture about Christ.

Persistence in Sin

The third Biblical reason for leaving a church has to do with lifestyle. Once

again Paul has some clear teaching on this issue:

(1 Corinthians 5:11, NIV) But now I am writing you that you must

not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is

sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard

or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

Matthew 18 tells us that when a brother sins we are to go to that brother and

show him his fault. If he refuses to listen to us, we are to bring a witness on

a second visit. If he refuses to listen to us in the presence of a witness, we

are to bring this matter before the church. If he refuses to listen at this point

we are to separate ourselves from him.

In recent years, we have had to face several moral issues in the church.

Dishonesty and corruption occurs even in the church of Christ. Paul tells us

that we are not to associate with this type of people. I see this to mean that

if we belong to a church which does stand firmly on the moral principles of

Scripture, even after being approached and exhorted in this matter, then we

have every obligation as true believers to separate ourselves from them and

find a church that walks in integrity according to the principles of God’s

Word.

PERSONAL REASONS

Stagnation and Spiritual Decline

Maybe your church does not fall under any of the above categories yet you

have been in this church for many years and have not seen any spiritual

growth in your life. I have met many individuals like this. For years, they

have sat under the preaching of their church but have never grown. Years

pass and they are no closer to the Lord than when they first met Him. There

can be any number of reasons for this. Sometimes the fault lies in the

preaching. Sometimes the Word of God is not being preached from the

pulpit. At other times, it is in the fact that there is no spiritual appetite in the

congregation. People attend church but have no real desire to grow. This

leaves the person who wants to grow with no fellowship or spiritual

encouragement.

These things can cause stagnation in the life of a true believer. In these

cases, I would suggest that believers seek out a group of sincere believers

who can encourage them in their walk with the Lord. This does not

necessarily require leaving their church. This fellowship group may be

outside their church. In the end, however, spiritual growth and maturity in

Christ should be our great priority. If your church is hindering you from

your growth in Christ, you have cause for concern and need to seek the

Lord about this.

Irreconcilable Differences

Paul and Barnabas had an irreconcilable difference regarding the question

of John Mark (Acts 15:36-41). The only solution to their problem was to go

their separate ways. There are many similar cases in churches today.

Sometimes these differences may be related to the way things are done in

the church. Other times an individual has a change of theology which

makes his participation in a particular denomination very delicate. While it

would be nice to think that we could solve every difference in a

congregation, this is really too idealistic. There is often more than one way

of seeing things. Answers are not always black and white. Some people will

simply never be able to resolve their differences in this life. If they were to

continue to work together, they would only cause friction for the rest of the

body. Like Paul and Barnabas, there are times when the best solution is

simply to respectfully part company.

Leading of God

I would like to touch on one final reason for leaving a local assembly. There

are times when the Lord will simply call us on to another location and

work. Even as pastors sense the call of God to move on to another church,

so we must allow God the right to redirect our gifted members to other local

bodies. God still calls missionaries from local churches to go to foreign

fields. He may very well call some of your gifted young people to full time

service. He may call an average member to another work. I am sure that it

was not easy for the church in Antioch to hear God tell them that He was

taking Paul and Barnabas from them for another work (see Acts 13:2-3).

Our commitment is to the greater cause of Christ and not simply to the

building up of our own local church. Let us count it a privilege to have one

of our members reach out beyond our walls to serve in another part of the

vineyard. To feel bitterness and animosity in such a case is to despise the

call of God. Be open to what God may be calling you to do. To place one’s

local church ahead of the call of God would be to live in disobedience to the

will of God.

For Consideration:

What is the difference between the relationship of a husband and wife and

our relationship with our church? How do these relationships differ? Does

God have the same expectation of both relationships?

What are some Biblical and theological reasons for which you might want

to consider leaving your church?

Is it acceptable to leave a church where you are not growing spiritually?

Are there times when God may call a church in a direction that not all

members are comfortable with? What should those who are not comfortable

with this direction do in this event?

Have you ever had a time when you felt that the Lord was calling you to

another church? Explain.

For Prayer:

Ask the Lord to forgive you for times when the church took God’s place in

your life. Ask God to help you to always place Him alone first in your

heart.

Ask God to give you a clear understanding of what is important to Him.

Ask Him to help you to stand firm on those truths and never give in.

Ask God to show you if you are ever standing in the way of what He wants

to do in your church. Ask for grace to either humble yourself or the wisdom

to move out of the way lest you hinder His purpose for the church.

Ask God to show you when you need to fight for what you believe and

when you need to leave and let Him work in His own way.

4 - IS THERE A POSITIVE

SIDE TO CHURCH SPLITS?

f you have ever been part of a church split, you may very well have

wondered what good could possibly come out of it. We all know the

negative side of a church split with all the emotion and deep hurt.

There are times, however, when going our separate ways can be beneficial.

In saying this, please understand that I am not encouraging the reader to

leave his or her local church. My goal, however, is to show that the Lord

can use these circumstances for good.

Purifying of Church

Very often church splits have a purifying effect. During the time of the

Reformation, the church had been wandering from the basic truths of the

gospel. The doctrines of salvation by grace alone and the absolute authority

of Scripture had been watered down. The church needed to be cleansed.

Martin Luther was one of the men God would use to bring about this

cleansing. While it was not his original intention to leave the church, his

questioning of the established leadership lead to a great renewal and

ultimately to the formation of a new church. The reformation had a

purifying effect on the church. The gospel once again was being preached

from the pulpits of Europe. Sin was dealt with and people were renewed in

their faith.

The fact of the matter is this. Human beings left to themselves have a

natural tendency to turn from God and the principles of His Word. It is

much easier to let matters slide than to exercise church discipline. It is more

pleasant to preach what people like to hear than to confront them with the

sometimes-harsh truths of the Word of God. Very often we become

comfortable with our traditions and our eyes are taken from Christ. The

world and its influences are never far from us. If left alone churches will

naturally drift away from the clear teaching of the Word of God. Like He

did in the Old Testament, every so often God will send a prophet to shake

the church and awaken her from her sleep.

In Exodus 32 we read how Moses had been on the mountain in the presence

of God. God told him to return to his people because they had rebelled

against Him. When Moses returned to the camp, he discovered that the

people had made for themselves a golden calf. When he saw what was

happening, Moses called all who were for the Lord to join him. Some

rallied to his side while others refused. This was one of the one of the first

splits between God’s people. God expected nothing less of Moses that day.

Moses and his followers separated themselves from those who had turned

from God. That day God sent a plague to wipe out those who had bowed

down to another god. It was by this means that the people of Israel were

purified and sin was removed.

When I worked on the island of Mauritius some years ago, I had the

responsibility of serving in a church that had been experiencing much

division. As we began to deal with one problem after another and seek the

Lord and the direction He would have us go, the troublemakers began to

leave. Many of these individuals were not comfortable with the way the

church was headed and decided of their own free will to leave and go

elsewhere. I have spoken with pastors who have recounted the same story.

Very often God has His own way of purifying His church. He may purify

His church either by removing trouble makers or by separating for Himself

a people with whom He desires to do a greater work.

Growth and Renewal

I have met various individuals who have experienced tremendous renewal

and growth after leaving their church of many years. In some cases, these

individuals had been in churches where the truth of the Scriptures was not

being taught. There was a hunger deep in their souls that was not being

satisfied. I have seen what happens when these individuals are fed on the

truth of the Word of God. For many, their lives were transformed. I have

heard them say: “I attended church all my life and was never taught these

truths.” Like a root-bound plant that can no longer grow, when transplanted

to a Bible teaching church, these individuals exploded in new growth. It is

such a blessing to see this.

We also need to understand that not everybody is the same. Some people

worship best in a traditional setting while others need more freedom and

spontaneity. The combination of people, gifts and ministries is different in

each church. Each congregation has its own unique flavour and emphasis.

Like plants, people flourish in different soils. There are times when people,

like plants, need to be transplanted to another church if they are going to

reach their full potential. We should never be so focused on building up our

own local church that we refuse to allow our members the opportunity to go

where they can experience greater growth and renewal. What is important

here is not the number of members on our roll but the maturing of believers

in Christ.

Multiplication of Work Force

When Paul and Barnabas parted company in Acts 15, what was the result?

Barnabas took John Mark with him and set out in one direction. Paul took

Silas and set out in another direction. The missionary force was doubled.

Instead of one team of two people preaching the gospel we have two teams

of two people. While we have no record of the ministry of Barnabas and

John Mark at that time, we can assume that their ministry, too, was blessed

by God. It is true that Paul and Barnabas did part company because of their

different views. The fact of the matter, however, is that both were servants

of God intent on doing His will. I am convinced that God blessed and used

both missionary teams for His glory.

The church of our day has been riddled with splits and divisions. We do

have to realise, however, that God has used many of these divisions for His

glory. People are being drawn to the Lord and matured in the faith through a

great number of these churches. God’s true children can be found in many

different denominations. While we may not always agree, we must admit

that God is working in other churches besides our own. There is a sense in

which God is using these divisions for His glory. The work force has

expanded. Our efforts to reach the world have multiplied many times over.

Each group has its own emphasis and reaches people others cannot reach.

God has used splits through the years to multiply His missionary work

force.

Greater Unity in Division

There are times when the best way to get along with someone is to distance

yourself slightly from them. Face it, there are some personalities that clash.

When you put them together in the same church, they lock horns every time

they see each other. I am not one who believes that denominations are of the

devil. I believe that they are necessary because of human nature.

Denominations tend to group people of like mind. In theory, at least, the

possibility of conflict is reduced because we are associating with people

who see things the way we see them. While I would be the first to admit

that we need to see a greater co-operation among true believers of different

denominations, I also believe that, in this sin filled world, these

denominations may be necessary for a greater harmony within the larger

body of Christ. We have better things to do than constantly lock horns and

fight with each other.

Have you ever taught a children’s club where two children could not get

along? What do you do? You separate them and place them with children

they can get along with and continue your teaching. Separation is

sometimes the best route to greater unity. You may even find that you get

along much better with a person if you are not having to work side by side

with him or her on a regular basis. Sometimes church splits are God’s way

of creating greater unity in the body.

While it is true that sometimes the reason we cannot get along is because of

pride, jealousy or an unwillingness to forgive, there are other times when

we simply do things in a different way. I have friends who are very different

from me in how they work. They can do many things at once while I tend to

focus on one task at a time. While we are great friends and enjoy wonderful

fellowship, we work very differently. In fact, we would likely frustrate each

other if we were trying to work together.

In Deuteronomy 22:10 we read:

10 You shall not plow with an ok and a donkey together.

There was a law against making two very different animals work together.

The ox was very strong and hard working. The donkey was a weaker,

smaller and more stubborn animal. This was their nature. Imagine putting

these two animals together to plough a field. The ox would be held back by

the donkey and the donkey would be overworked by the ox. This

combination of animals was not healthy. What is true of the ox and donkey

is also true in the church. God has made us different one from the other.

These differences are not sinful but they can make it difficult for certain

people to work together. Sometimes the only Biblical solution is to separate

people whose personalities and work style clash so that they will not

frustrate or hold each other back. We need to distinguish sometimes

between sinful attitudes that keep us from working together and God-given

gifts and personalities that clash because we are all different.

What I am trying to say in this chapter is that division is not always a bad

thing. Just like a plant sometimes needs to be uprooted and divided for its

greater health so it is sometimes with the local church.

I was watching a documentary on a forest fire that took place some years

ago in Australia. The team documented the fire and the aftermath of this

fire over the coming years. While the fire destroyed vast expanses of forest,

they discovered that in the coming years the forest grew back and was much

healthier than it has been before the fire. In fact, seeds of plants that had

been dormant for years, now were coming to life and being seen again in

the forest. This forest fire was for the ultimate good of the forest. God will

sometimes purge His church. He will remove the old stagnant growth and

give new life. He will renew His people’s commitment to His Word. He will

expand His workforce. Church splits are not always negative. They can be a

very effective tool in the hands of a Sovereign God to purify, mature, and

make His church more useful for the sake of His kingdom.

For Consideration:

How did God purify the nation of Israel in Exodus 32? How does He purify

the church in our day?

How did God use the split between Barnabas and Paul to multiply His

missionary force? Can He do this today in the church?

Is it possible that creating groups of like-minded believers could potentially

bring greater unity to the overall body of Christ? While we worship in

different churches, what can we do to more fully recognize our unity as true

believers in Jesus Christ?

For Prayer:

Ask the Lord to do what He needs to do to purify the church of our day?

Take a moment to thank the Lord for the churches in your region that

preach the truth about Jesus Christ. Ask God to help you to accept these

believers as your brothers and sisters even though they may differ on some

theological points.

Thank the Lord for the different ways in which He is working through the

various Bible believing churches in your community. Thank Him for the

people these churches are reaching and the impact they are having for the

sake of the kingdom of God.

Ask the Lord to give you grace as a church to do your part in the expansion

of His kingdom. Ask Him to show you the particular role He has for your

church.

5 - WHEN DIVISION IS

INEVITABLE

here may be times when leaving a church is inevitable. The

question we need to examine here is what do we do when this is

unavoidable? How do we deal with a church split or with an

individual who feels compelled to leave our church? When you have come

to the place where you believe that there is no other choice, how do you

leave your church?

Seek the Lord’s Purpose

After Esther married King Xerxes and became queen of Persia, Haman, the

king’s official, decreed that the Jews be destroyed. King Xerxes agreed to

this policy of Haman. We can only imagine how difficult this would have

been for Esther, a Jewess. Her own husband had decreed to the destruction

of her people. Mordecai, Esther’s uncle, however, told her in Esther 4:14:

“Who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as

this?” Mordecai reminded Esther that the series of events that led up to her

becoming the wife of the enemy to her people had not happened by chance.

God was working out His purposes and Esther had a very important role to

play. Before running away from a difficult situation in your church,

consider the advice of Mordecai. Could it be that God has placed you in the

church for this very purpose? Could it be that you are to be involved in the

process of change in the life of your church?

Seek Reconciliation

In Matthew 18:15-20 the Lord tells us that if a brother or sister sins against

us we are to go and speak with him in person about this. If he refuses to

listen, we are to take a witness. If he refuses to listen despite the witness,

we are to bring him before the church. If he refuses to listen to the church,

we are to separate ourselves from him. Too many people leave a church

prematurely. They leave without first seeking reconciliation with their

brother or sister.

While we can see how this principle applies to individual relationships, how

does it apply to a church? If your church is wandering from the principles

of the Word of God, maybe the first step, would be to go to the leadership

and express your concern. If the leadership refuses to listen, take someone

else with you and speak again to them on this issue. If they refuse to listen,

you may have recourse to either a higher court in the church or the head

office of your denomination. If even after these efforts, they refuse to listen

you may have legitimate reason to leave.

Maybe you belong to a denomination which has recently made a decision

that is contrary to the teaching of the word of God. What happens if your

concern is with the denomination as a whole? How does Matthew 18 apply

in this case? Where do you go when there is no higher church authority to

which we can turn? Possibly the first step, according to Matthew 18 would

be to express your concern as a local church to your denomination. If they

do not listen find other local churches and believers of the same

denomination who will stand with you. If even then they refuse to listen,

once again, depending on the nature of the issue, you may have cause to

leave.

What is important is that before leaving, you seek to work out the issue with

your brothers or sisters. Maybe the Lord will use you to bring the change

needed.

Leading, not Reacting

Very often, in church conflicts, people are hurt and react out of bitterness

and revenge. It is important that we seek to avoid this at all costs. In

conflicts, we ought not to be seeking to prove our point. First and foremost

on our minds must be the glory of God. How can you tell if you are truly

seeking the glory of God? Probably the easiest way is to examine your own

attitudes and actions. If we are seeking the glory of God in the church, we

will begin by examining our own hearts. I have seen too many dirty fights

in the church by people who claim to be seeking the glory of God. Is God

glorified when your attitude is not that of Christ? Is God glorified when

believer devours believer in the name of Christ? If your attitude is not right

toward your brother, then you are not glorifying God. Jesus tells us:

(Mat 25:40 NIV) 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the

least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

If you are seeking the glory of God in the conflict, you will be seeking His

will not your own. You will also demonstrate the attitude of Him who loved

you and died for you when you were His enemy. You will follow the

leading of the Spirit and not react out of bitterness or desire for revenge.

Actively Seek the Good of Your Brothers and Sisters

Listen to the King James rendering of Matthew 5:44:

(Mat 5:44 KJV) But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them

that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them

which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

In this translation, there are four things we are commanded to do for our

enemies. We are to love our enemies. The greatest example of this is the

example of Christ and how He was willing to die for us even though we

were His enemies. We are challenged here to follow His example.

The verse also commands us to bless those who curse us. The word bless in

the Greek language is “eulogeo.” From this word, we get the word

“eulogy.” The actual word comes from two other Greek words: “eu”

meaning “good or well” and “logos” meaning “words.” If you put these

words together, you get the idea of speaking well of or praising someone.

God is telling us to speak well of our enemies. While we may not appreciate

what they stand for, we are to look beyond this evil and see the good. We

are to banish any angry and bitter words about them or to them. Our words

to them and about them are to be seasoned with grace, forgiveness,

compassion and love.

The third thing we are commanded to do is to do good to our enemies. Our

brother or sister may not want to accept our gesture of love, but we are

commanded to offer it to them. This means that we are to actively seek to

bless and honour our brother or sister, even when we have been hurt by

them.

The final challenge of this verse is to pray for our enemies. This must be

seen in the light of the other commands. God is not telling us here that we

are to pray for their destruction and speedy judgement. We are challenged

to seek the good of our enemies even in prayer. Pray for the blessing of the

Lord to fall on those who disagree with you. Pray that they would come to

an understanding of the Lord’s will and be showered with His abundance

and goodness.

This verse tells us that we are to actively seek the good of our enemies. This

is radically different from what we see in the average church split. As we go

through the division and conflict, we are to be asking the question: How can

I seek the good of those who disagree with me? This is contrary to

everything that is natural to us. If we wish to glorify God in our church

conflict, however, we will be seeking His enabling in this matter. Isn’t that

what Christ did for us?

Legal Matters

In 1 Corinthians 6:1-7 Paul speaks out against the practice of believers

filing lawsuits against other believers in the secular courts. He tells them

that it would be better to be wronged and cheated than to devour each other

before the unbeliever. Horrible things have been done in the name of Christ.

Whether it is over the matter of who keeps the church building or what to

do with the finances, the fighting can become very dirty. Paul warns us

against this. As believers, we represent the name of Christ. Even in our

conflicts we can show the world that Jesus is alive and dwells in our hearts.

What does it do for the testimony of the Church when the world sees

believers steeped in greed and bitterness? While there is from time to time

the need to understand proper legal procedure, we should be very careful

about taking our fellow believers to court. Be willing to suffer loss, rather

than cast a shadow upon the name of Christ in your community. Even in a

church split, the glory of God must be our greatest preoccupation.

Expect a Response

Don’t be surprised if people respond negatively to you. In some cases,

people may not speak to you. In other cases, they may say things behind

your back. Sometimes people will have their own idea as to why you left

your church. You may not be understood at all. In these cases, lovingly

forgive and actively seek the good of those who speak about you.

Remember that, ultimately, you must answer to God alone. What others

think about you is unimportant compared to what God thinks. The Lord

understands what you are going through. Listen to the counsel He gives in

Matthew 5:11,12:

(Mat 5:11-12 NIV) "Blessed are you when people insult you,

persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because

of me. (12) Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in

heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were

before you.

If you have been seeking the will of the Lord in this matter, obedient to His

Word and seeking His glory, then rejoice that you have been found worthy

to suffer for His name. Have you ever met a war veteran who returned

home with battle scars? Have you ever heard him speak with pride about his

wounds? He considers it an honour to be able to bear the marks on his body

of faithfulness to his country. How much more is this true for those of us

who suffer for the cause of Christ. Don’t be surprised if you are not

understood. Seek the glory of God and His will and concern yourself very

little with what others may think.

In this world, we can expect disagreements and conflict. There will be times

when, like Paul and Barnabas in Acts 15 we will have to separate from

brother and sister for the greater glory of our heavenly Father. What is

important when this is inevitable, is that we do so with grace, forgiveness

and love. There are times when this will be very difficult, but our

commitment in these times of division is to honour Christ in our heart,

actions and attitudes.

For Consideration:

Why is it important to seek the will of the Lord in our church conflicts

before leaving? What was the advice of Mordecai to Esther?

What does Matthew 18:15-20 teach us about the steps we should take

towards being reconciled with a brother or sister?

What is the normal response to church conflict? What kind of response does

God want us to have toward those who differ from us or hurt us? See

Matthew 5:44.

Could it be that the greatest battle in any church conflict is not so much

with a brother or sister but with ourselves, our attitudes and responses to

this conflict? Explain.

For Prayer:

Ask the Lord to give you grace to seek His heart before your leave any

situation. Ask Him if it is His purpose that you leave or be an agent for

positive change.

Do you have a conflict with a brother or sister in Christ? Ask the Lord to

give you His heart for that brother or sister. Ask God to help you to love

and forgive them as He loved and forgave you.

Ask God to examine your heart to see if there are any attitudes that do not

honour Him. Confess these attitudes to Him and ask Him to change them.

6 - HEALING FROM A

CHURCH SPLIT

ne of the problems with church splits is that people can go

through the rest of their lives filled with bitterness and hurt. I

have never met anyone who has had to leave his or her church

due to serious disagreements who has not been hurt in some way by the

whole process. For the most part, these individuals are left to bandage their

wounds by themselves. Many times, the pain associated with their old

church is hidden but not healed. From time to time, it resurfaces in

bitterness or anger. Generally, however, these individuals busy themselves

with their new church and keep their pain buried well beneath the surface.

In this concluding chapter I would like to give a few guidelines to begin the

process of healing from a church split.

Try to Understand your Brother’s Perspective

Some time ago I was involved with a church that had broken away from

their denomination. This had happened some years before I arrived. I

learned later that one of the results of this split was a letter sent by the local

leadership of the original church to other churches of the same

denomination in their area indicating that no one from this new breakaway

group was to preach in their churches. The action only served to strengthen

animosity between people on both sides.

Some years later, I was asked by one of the churches in the original

denomination to preach in the absence of a pastor. I was only too happy to

help in this way, but eventually found myself in the middle of this debate.

Despite the blessing of the Lord on the work, I was removed from the

pulpit. Admittedly, I initially felt a certain bitterness, because I had had

nothing to do with the split between these two churches. My desire was

simply to help a church without a pastor. As I reflected on this decision,

however, and tried to put myself in the shoes of the leadership of the

original denomination, I began to understand why they chose this route. The

church split had been quite messy. The denomination was simply protecting

themselves from any potential problems. Understanding this perspective

helped me to have a better attitude towards them.

I would like you to think back in time to when you were a child. Do you

remember how unfair and hard you thought your parents were when they

required certain things from you or demanded that you restrict the amount

of time you did the things you enjoyed? When we grow up and have our

own children, we understand more fully why our parents did the things they

did. It is not until we face a similar situation with our own children that we

understand why our parents made these decisions.

Take the time to try and look at the perspective of those you perceive to be

your enemies. You may be surprised to discover that you agree in essence

with their actions. A vital part of the healing process is to try to understand

the perspective of your brother or sister.

Don’t Judge Your Brother’s Motives and Intentions

(1 Corinthians 4:5 NIV) Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time;

wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness

and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive

his praise from God.

The apostle Paul tells us in this verse that the judging of motives and

intentions does not belong to us but to God. None of us know what truly

motivates the actions of our brother or sister. The Bible commentator

Matthew Henry says this about judging someone else’s motives:

We make ourselves our brethren’s masters, and do in effect usurp the

throne of God, when we take upon us thus to judge them, especially

to judge their thoughts and intentions, which are out of our view.

(Henry, Matthew, Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole

Bible, Vol. VI, Acts to Revelation: New Jersey: Fleming H. Revell

Company, pg. 475.)

To judge the motives and intentions of our fellow human beings is to take

God’s place. Only God has the right to judge these intentions because only

He can see into the human heart. Often, however, we judge our fellow

human being based on what we perceive to be his or her intentions.

We are quick to say that our enemies are acting out of bitterness, greed or

anger, but do we really know this? Could it be that we have misjudged our

enemy? Only God knows his or her true motives. It is not for us to judge

what we do not know. It is very important that we deal with any such

judgmental attitudes.

Don’t condemn your enemy for something you have no way of proving. If

you have been guilty of this, confess it as sin to God. As Paul says in 1

Corinthians 4:5: “judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord

comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the

motives of men's hearts (NIV).” When you find yourself judging the

motives and intentions of you brother or sister, confess this to God and ask

Him for grace to leave this in His hands.

Forgive

What does it mean to forgive your brother? When someone offends you,

they place themselves in your debt. To forgive such a person is to release

them from any debt they may owe you because of the pain or difficulty they

have caused. When you release them, you are in reality saying: “I will never

ask you to pay for what you have done. I will never hold what you have

done against you.” This does not mean that you no longer feel pain over

what you have suffered. Nor does this mean that you naively believe that

they could never do it again. You may even take precautionary measures to

assure that your brother or sister does not repeat his or her offense. If you

have truly forgiven, however, you will treat them as if they had committed

no offense whatsoever against you. Their actions towards you will not

influence how you lovingly respond to them.

To hold someone accountable to us for what they have done is to tie

ourselves to them. There are many people who are so weighted down

demanding that people pay for what they have done to them that they

cannot move forward themselves. One of the most important steps toward

recovery from a church split is to set our brothers and sisters free from

whatever debt we perceive they owe us. To set them free is to free ourselves

to move on into whatever the Lord has for us.

Reject Negative Talk and Thoughts

Don’t allow yourself the privilege of thinking wrong thoughts and speaking

accusing words about your brother or sister. One of the tactics of the enemy

is to try to get us to focus on our differences. He delights in having us think

negatively about those who have hurt us. When he has succeeded in getting

you to think negatively about your brother or sister the next step will be to

get you to speak your thoughts to others. The apostle Paul gave this advice

to the Philippians:

8 Finally, brothers, whatever it true, whatever is honorable,

whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is

commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy

of praise, think on these things. (Philippians 4, ESV)

Like poison, negative and hateful thoughts can spread from one person to

another until entire churches can be contaminated by wrong attitudes. The

work of God will be hindered because of this poison. People are hurt in the

process and the name of Christ is dishonoured. Don’t be responsible for

spreading this bitterness through your church and community. Reject these

thoughts and attitudes when you first encounter them. To harbour them is to

prove that you have never really forgiven your brother. In reality you still

want him to pay for what he has done to you. This will not only hurt your

brother, but it will also drag you down spiritually. Ask the Lord to help you

to truly forgive.

Focus on the Good

Very often we have been so weighted down by the negative side of a church

split and division that we fail to see how the Lord has accomplished good

out of evil. A church split can give birth to a second church where the

presence of God is evidenced in many beautiful ways. The church may

grow rapidly. There may be immediate evidence of spiritual growth and

renewed excitement about what the Lord can do in their midst. People will

come to the Lord and certain ministries will being particularly blessed. In

the midst of this, however, there may be those who were still stuck on the

past. They had never really gotten over the pain associated with the split

from their former church. They cannot rejoice in the expansion of the

Kingdom of God and the work He had chosen to do.

There are people who so dwell on the difficulties of the past that they can

never enjoy the blessings of the present. Are you in this situation? Stop for

a moment and look around you. Consider the blessings of the Lord. He tells

us that all things work together for good if you love God (see Romans

8.28). What good has God accomplished? Make a list of these blessings.

When you are tempted to dwell on the negative, consider the blessings of

God. Instead of being discouraged, take a moment to praise the Lord for His

goodness and sovereignty in your situation. It is hard to remain discouraged

when we see the evidence of God’s good hand in our difficulties.

Take your Emotions With You

When you leave your church, take your emotions with you. Very often

while our physical presence is removed, we leave our emotions in our

former church. It has never ceased to amaze me to see how upset people

who have left a church can get when the church they left makes a decision

they do not like. The church down the street can make the same decision

and it wouldn’t bother them in the least. The problem is that they have not

completely cut their ties to their former church. Have you ever noticed that

you have more patience with someone else’s children than your own? The

reason for this has to do with our emotional ties to our children. We take

what our children do very personally. We feel that they are acting on our

behalf. They represent us in their unruly behaviour. We become angered

because what they do reflects on us.

In the same way, we become emotionally attached to our church. What our

church does reflects on us. The hardest part of leaving a church is to take

our emotional attachments with us. Even though we are now a member of

another church we still feel that the actions of our former church reflect

upon us. This leads to bitterness and anger.

Transferring your emotional allegiance to your new church is not always

easy, especially if you have fond memories of your former church and its

members. It is necessary, however, for complete healing. This does not

mean that you cannot remember the good you experienced in your old

church. It is good to remember with thankfulness, the blessings of the past,

but don’t stop there. God’s purposes are still being worked out in the

present. You will yet have much for which to praise the Lord.

Even as we must set our children free when they reach the age of maturity,

we must hand over the reins to those who remain in our old church. We are

no longer accountable for what they do. Their actions no longer reflect upon

us. Like our children who have left the nest, while we are still concerned,

and while our prayers are always with them, they are now accountable for

their own actions.

See your Brother and Sister as God see Them

There are times when we need to step back from a situation to be more

objective. Sometimes we have difficulty loving those who have offended

us. For healing to take place, it is necessary to ask yourself the question:

“How does the Lord see those brothers and sisters that have offended you?”

Has He stopped loving them? Doesn’t He extend His forgiveness and

compassion to them as well as to you and me?”

Seeing our brothers and sisters as Christ sees them is a vital part of healing.

It requires a deep commitment on our part to reject false and harmful

thinking and confess it to God. It may require much prayer and seeking God

for the ability to see those who have offended us through His eyes. God

expects us to swallow our pride and chose to love as He loves; to forgive as

He forgives; to bless as He blesses.

Seek the Good of Those Who Have Offended You

Jeremiah 29 contains a copy of a letter the prophet sent to those who had

gone into exile in Babylon. These individuals had just been through a

horrible ordeal. Their land and their homes had been taken from them. They

had been removed from their land and taken by force to a foreign country

where they were being held as prisoners. There was very likely a certain

amount of bitterness in their hearts towards their enemies the Babylonians.

To these exiles, Jeremiah the prophet writes:

(Jeremiah 29:4-7 NIV) (4) This is what the LORD Almighty, the God

of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to

Babylon: (5) "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat

what they produce. (6) Marry and have sons and daughters; find

wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that

they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do

not decrease. (7) Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to

which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it,

because if it prospers, you too will prosper."

God expected that His people become model citizens in the land of their

captivity. They were to seek the peace and prosperity of their enemy’s

cities, for in their prosperity they too would prosper. This is a lesson we

cannot afford to miss. The Word of God exhorts us to love our enemies (see

Matthew 5:43). Jeremiah tells his people that they would prosper only as

they sought to bless their enemies.

The negative attitudes we have towards those who have offended us will

only bring us spiritual poverty. Do you want to prosper spiritually? Cast

aside your bitterness and pride. Ask the Lord what you can do to seek the

good of your enemy. Ask Him to open your eyes to their needs and reach

out in love. Pray for them and seek God’s richest blessing for them. You are

not the only one who is hurting. They also feel the pain of separation and

division. Make it your desire to see them healed and restored so that they

can become everything God intends them to be. Do this in the strength the

Lord provides. Let His love fill you to overflowing. Let it flow like oil over

those who have offended you. This is the only route to full healing in your

life, in the life of your church, and in the life of those who have offended

you.

For Consideration:

How does understanding our brother’s or sister’s perspective help us to be

more gracious and forgiving?

How does an unforgiving spirit harm the person who has refused to forgive?

Have you ever chosen to dwell on negative thoughts toward your brothers

or sisters? What does this say about what you think of them?

How important is transferring our emotional allegiance? What is the

difference between being concerned for a brother or sister and being

emotionally attached to them?

How does seeking the good of our brother who has offended us bring

healing to both him and yourself?

For Prayer:

Take a moment to ask the Lord to examine your heart for any ungracious

thoughts toward a brother or sister who may have offended you in the past.

Ask Him to give you grace to forgive.

Ask the Lord to help you to see your brother or sister as He sees them.

Ask the Lord to set you free from any unhealth emotional ties to those who

have hurt you. Ask Him to show you the balance between concern and

unhealthy emotional ties.

Have you been offended by someone or hurt by a situation in life? Take a

moment to thank the Lord that He is a sovereign God who promises to work

out all things for our good. Ask Him to open your eyes to the good He will

accomplish through your circumstance.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Light To My Path Book Distribution

Light To My Path Book Distribution (LTMP) is a

book writing and distribution ministry reaching

out to needy Christian workers in Asia, Latin

America, and Africa. Many Christian workers in

developing countries do not have the resources

necessary to obtain Bible training or purchase

Bible study materials for their ministries and

personal encouragement.

F. Wayne Mac Leod is a member of Action

International Ministries and has been writing

these books with a goal to distribute them freely or at cost price to needy

pastors and Christian workers around the world. These books are being

used in preaching, teaching, evangelism and encouragement of local

believers in over sixty countries. Books have now been translated into a

number of languages. The goal is to make them available to as many

believers as possible.

The ministry of LTMP is a faith-based ministry and we trust the Lord for

the resources necessary to distribute the books for the encouragement and

strengthening of believers around the world. Would you pray that the Lord

would open doors for the translation and further distribution of these books?

For more information about Light To My Path Book Distribution visit our

website at www.lighttomypath.ca